DiCaprio Returns to Claim Oscars and Kill Bears in The Revenant

The Revenant 2015 Leonardo DiCaprio

Just like that whole thing about Sad Keanu, I bet that Leonardo DiCaprio (The Departed) is well aware of all the amusement caused by his lack of Oscar wins. However, his time for terrible, terrible revenge may have finally come. Soon, he could be smushing the blood of bears and Tom Hardy (Star Trek – Nemesis) into our once-smug, fat faces. He will stand above us, God-like, before braining us mercilessly with his golden war trophy.

Let it be known that The Revenant is coming. And awards are (likely) coming with him.

So many near misses. Shutter Island. Django Unchained. The Wolf of Wallstreet. You can argue that he should have won an Oscar for any of the above. But the loftiest Hollywood goal (besides becoming a member of FAG way back when) has eluded him. And oh how the world has mocked him.

Leonardo DiCaprio Oscar Funny

Each subsequent film has forced him to delve deeper, become more invested. And now, he’s being challenged like never before. He is The Revenant, or Hugh Glass (isn’t that a pun?) – frontiersman, explorer and badass. This is director Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu’s grizzly follow up to 2014’s Birdman. If you had any taste or sense of humour, you would have loved that as much as I did. This is looking like things are being taken up a notch, with all sorts of slayings, gunnings, knifings and massacrings.

It’s the 1820’s. Glass (DiCaprio), is a trapper – a guy who traps things. He’s abandoned by his buddies (Tom Hardy, Will Poulter & Domhnall Gleeson) after a near-fatal bear attack. Awakening alone, without supplies, or weapons, and heavily wounded, DiCaprio has to crawl to safety 200 miles through the frozen native Indian-infested Dakota wastes. This is before he sets out on a quest of revenge for the bastards who left him to die.

Leonard DiCaprio The Revenant 2015


So the first part is DiCaprio killing a bear with a knife, before a desperate quest for survival. This involves setting his own broken leg, and “laying his wounded back on a rotting log to let maggots eat his dead flesh”. Not my words folks, but the words of Wikipedia. This precedes his hungry pursuit of sweet vengeance (does vengeance taste of anything else?).

With rumors rife of the production going $40 over budget despite having no ending shot, Leo’s character having less lines than Arnold in Conan, and the cast and crew being subjected to a living hell whilst making the damn thing, I have high, high hopes for this. DiCaprio may never win an Oscar, but it certainly sounds like he’s earning one this time around.

The Revenant is due for a very festive release on the 25th of December, 2015. Get the trailer watched now.

One thought on “DiCaprio Returns to Claim Oscars and Kill Bears in The Revenant

  1. Pingback: Review: The Revenant | The Movie Bastards

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