Review: Mortal Kombat

Mortal Kombat movie poster

In the business of making terrible movies, one way to guarantee success is to make films that people will still pay to see regardless of their quality. Enter Paul WS Anderson. Aliens vs. Predator, Resident Evil, Death Race. All preexisting IP’s with built in markets. Who cares if the movie sucks as long as the tickets sell? I still went to see AvP, despite the fact I knew it was going to make me bleed out of my eyes. Who is the bigger idiot? PWSA for making that piece of shit or me for paying to see it?

But it wasn’t always like this. Back in ’95 he started his major movie making career with an anomaly – a film based on a video game that was actually pretty good. It’s time to begin…

Fight!

Review: Near Dark

Near Dark Poster Bill Paxton

The nukes are coming, and the end of humanity is coming with them. Estimates project you have about 90 more minutes before the surface of the Earth starts to resemble Gary Oldman’s face in Hannibal. You’re left with one ultimate question: what is the last vampire love film you watch? The Lost Boys if you happen to like good movies or Twilight if you don’t. The choice is that simple. Or is it?

Enter Kathryn Bigelow’s Near Dark.

Vampire Shit Abounds Within

Review: Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice – Ultimate Edition

Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice Poster

You know, this was the first Batman movie I hadn’t seen at the cinema since Batman Returns. I was put off by all the negativity, the blatant fanboyism, and the fact that Man of Steel was such a dull mess. That’s right, I may have suffered Batman & Robin, but I wouldn’t suffer this. C’mon -even without seeing the trailers, it was obvious that Batman and Superman would make up, buddy up, and then take out some common foe. Yet, hot on the heels of Marvel’s R-rated superhero release, Deadpool, director Zak Snyder (300) chose to release an ultimate uncut edition too. It’s his definitive vision of the story, he says. And so, like Rocky or some other boxing movie character, I chose to step into the ring one last time. I’m a glutton for punishment.

Read more of this Super-Batshit here