The nukes are coming, and the end of humanity is coming with them. Estimates project you have about 90 more minutes before the surface of the Earth starts to resemble Gary Oldman’s face in Hannibal. You’re left with one ultimate question: what is the last vampire love film you watch? The Lost Boys if you happen to like good movies or Twilight if you don’t. The choice is that simple. Or is it?
Enter Kathryn Bigelow’s Near Dark.
Vampire Shit Abounds Within
Captain America: Civil War is immediately distinctive because it doesn’t have “The” in the subheading. So is Steve Rogers third outing as slick, refined and cutback as the new title? Well, I’m gonna tell ya.
OMG it’s Captain America vs. Iron Man
Let’s face it, your girlfriend/wife/significant other isn’t ever going to light some candles, open a bottle of wine, sit down beside you on the couch and seductively say “Hey baby, lets watch a film called Kill Command“. No. This shit’s gonna have to be a solo mission.
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I’ve got a confession to make. I like found footage movies. Well, good ones. In fact, I even invented the genre.
I sure did
You know, this was the first Batman movie I hadn’t seen at the cinema since Batman Returns. I was put off by all the negativity, the blatant fanboyism, and the fact that Man of Steel was such a dull mess. That’s right, I may have suffered Batman & Robin, but I wouldn’t suffer this. C’mon -even without seeing the trailers, it was obvious that Batman and Superman would make up, buddy up, and then take out some common foe. Yet, hot on the heels of Marvel’s R-rated superhero release, Deadpool, director Zak Snyder (300) chose to release an ultimate uncut edition too. It’s his definitive vision of the story, he says. And so, like Rocky or some other boxing movie character, I chose to step into the ring one last time. I’m a glutton for punishment.
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We spend a lot of our lives learning about what other people did. Scientists call this “history”. And while so much has happened between the time our Mother’s birthed us unto this wretched Earth and now, we still think as most things having happened a long, long time ago. Then someone cool dies and you realize that “Shit, I was actually alive at the same time as this great dude”. I bet someone had that exact same feeling when badasses like da Vinci or Wyatt Earp died. In this case, it’s sad it has to be Muhammad Ali.
Read More About The Greatest Here